On with it… August was pretty good, with a total of 24,019 words. This is thanks, mostly, to a new short(er) story that I wrote for Awesome August that was nearly 7000 words. otherwise my total would be far below 20,000.  I was pretty proud of that story, too.

This brings my total to 252,453 words for the year. Not bad at all. My goal of 300,000 is only about 47K words away.

I’ve been trying to think of a NaNo topic for this year… I can’t believe it’s coming up so fast. I mean, yeah it’s November, but I usually need time to plan and outline. I’m thinking that, instead of doing NaNo, I will push myself to finish both of my big pieces. And start something new in Jan 2011. Wow.

We’ll see. The minute I say I am going to do something I suddenly can’t do it.

Over at the fanfiction archive I thought it would be fun to do a challenge called AwesomeAugust, where writers sign up for a day and on that day, post a new, complete story that they want. It would get writers… well… writing and it would produce at least 31 new stories for the archive. We like new stories, and considering how dry the fandom is these days, new stories can breathe new life.

I hadn’t planned on doing one, because I didn’t have an idea. And then… with about 3 slots open, an idea came to me. And then I thought it was dumb and gave up my slot. And then I got some great advice and swallowed my pride at my ‘damn good idea’ cut it back to the beginning and re-wrote it and guh.

Can I say I love my own work? Is that egotistical? Oh well. I think it’s cute. It’s called, “Rescue Me” and borrows a little bit from Pretty Woman, which I know aired last night and that was a complete coincidence. I was trying to find a movie that two people could be watching at 4am and did a Google search and Pretty Woman popped up and I thought, Yes! there’s some great quotable lines in that! I already knew how I could mold some dialog around the lines and draw some parallels. I thought it turned out great.

A snippet? Don’t mind if I do (beware of language, this piece is Rate R):

“See, I liked the Julia Roberts character,” Gabby admitted, crunching on popcorn. “But I liked her friend more.”

“Kit De Luca? Yeah she’s a little spitfire. Every prostitute needs a great best friend.”

“Well, and I’ve had a girl crush on Laura San Giacomo, ever since The Stand.”

“Good flick,” he said, tossing a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Scary, though.”

“The good outweighs the scary. I love the part where they’re talking about the fairy tale, the Prince Charming, you know? And Vivian asks her who that ever worked out for, and Kit says, Cindafuckin’rella.” She laughed, adding, “I always wanted to be called that.”

“Not Gab-Gabriele?”

Gabby burst into delirious giggles, nearly choking on a kernel of popcorn. “Shut up! I didn’t know if I wanted you to know me as Gabby the fun girl, or Gabrielle, the serious writer. I wanted to make a good impression.”

“Honey, you wasted a good impression on a man who was falling down drunk.”

“Shhhh,”she hissed, tapping him on the chest. “I like this part…”

We‘re going to be spending an obscene about of money…

Exactly how obscene an amount of money were you talking about? Just… profane or really offensive?

“You like that part? Where the guy drags her to a shop and dresses her up so she fits into his LA wet dream and doesn‘t look like a…you know…” His voice trailed off, seemingly on purpose.

“Like a whore?” Gabby volunteered. “Okay, not the deeper meaning part, no. But I like the sarcasm and how it’s so Beverly Hills. To a tee.”

“Got that right.”

“You know… this is kind of ironic.”

“What is?”

“Us. Watching this movie. Okay, you said you didn’t want to be alone, tonight. In the movie, Edward picks up Vivian because he doesn’t want to be alone. And she thinks it’s just gonna be this quickie… thing. And I thought I was just dropping you off, on my way home. And he convinces her to stay.” She twisted around so she could see him, face to face. “And you won’t let me leave your house.”

He was almost smiling. Almost. He blinked, slowly, then asked, “If I agree to that irony, am I saying you‘re a prostitute?”

“No. You’re just agreeing to the irony.”

“Then… I should point out that it’s not really irony. More coincidental. You’re a writer. You should know that.”

She laughed, and then blushed. “Touché. I would have caught it, if I wasn’t tired. But what a coincidence, huh?”

Gabby wasn’t sure what she was doing. Or if he would even respond, but fuck it… she was leaving town anyway–may as well go out with a bang. All it took was a few seconds of concentrated staring, her eyes moving from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes. He picked up on the hint and moved in, brushing his lips across hers and then opened his mouth.

Soft. Slow. Heady. Damn. He was a good kisser.

Et voila. *shrug* I like it.

This week I am trying hard to move Same Time Next Week forward. All I Wanna Do is at a pinnacle point right now and I need to be strategic about how I take it. I have sort of an avalanche of events that are going to hit my main character… the reader needs to feel her absolute despair. It has to be done right. And I feel like I might lose my grip on Same Time if I don’t give it some attention. I still have some fixing that needs to be done with that story.

Seems like I have a lot to do. Maybe I might finish both of these odysseys this year! I def want to finish Same Time before November. My 09 NaNoWriMo cannot still be hanging around when ’10 NaNo starts.

I decided, for the rest of the year, to ONLY count my fiction words. While my blog posts are important to me, I want to focus on my writing specifically to write, to further my development of skills, to finish my WIPs, to start new stories, to achieve 300K words this year purely on my own merit.

July saw the return of Same Time Next Week, my 2009 NaNoWriMo piece. It is, as of yet unfinished but it’s close. I have a goal to try to get to that piece this week and get more of it accomplished before  lose steam. I rewrote several chapters and cut it back from nearly 100K words to about 85K… and then added some words to already written chapters, moved some things around and then wrote a completely new chapter. That said, it was hard to tell what was old and what was new, so I only counted the new chapter.

I also completed two chapters in All I Wanna Do this month. Which, lately, is pretty good. I actually finished the newest chapter last night but since I started it in July, I counted it for July. I’m not hurting for numbers and I don’t expect to slack in August, so no big whoop.

My July total, then was 24,573 words, for an annual total of 228,440 words in 2010. Nice. I’m very happy with that. I have ~71,000 words to hit 300K. Uh. Do ya’ll even KNOW me? No PROBLEM!

In August, as I mentioned, I’d like to move further along with STNW, work toward finishing AIWD (I KNOW, RIGHT?!) and write some new things. There is a challenge over at the archive and I am trying to drum up something new for it. We’ll see how it goes!

I guess that’s all, for this update! Till the next time!

Last Monday, one of my occaisional guilty pleasures, The Baub Show, hosted Dave to talk about his new project. It seems Dave is writing a book. And I had no clue the man was a writer. I listened, with rapt attention to Dave’s idea and process. Read 12 of those ‘I did this for a year’ kinds of books and then…write a book about it. Genius, eh? I’d buy it, Dave. I swear. I mean, I bought Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (didn’t read it, but…), so it’s safe to say, I’d buy that. And I might even read it.

Dave runs a blog, a Tumblr, I guess, which is pretty neat because it doesn’t allow for comments, so there’s no hecklement and harassification (I made those words up, because I am a writer. Language is alive, or so I hear), just you and your material. Today’s post reinforces something he said on The Baub Show last week and totally, totally defines my writing experience right now:

1) “I am not a woman who enjoys process. I am a writer who does not enjoy writing.”

I feel you Adrienne Martini. I love writing, but I love avoiding writing even more. You know, obviously. But I promise to do better going forward.

…

3) “That’s what I like about [the] Mary Tudor [pattern]. The pattern is for just one size. That’s it.”

“But is that going to look good?”

“Probably not. But it’s about finishing it, not wearing it,” I say.

Word. The possibility that this project might someday turn into a book, while exciting, is making me evaluate it as it goes, making me less enthusiastic about plowing forward with it when I’m not sure how the end result will read. Some things are just about doing, about finishing. Like the Marathon: I knew I wasn’t going to win, or even look good in the dri-tec t-shirt. I just did it, and I used to just do this, and I need to get back to it.

To be continued, really.

It always strikes me as kind of funny, in an ‘wow, that’s amazing’ way, to hear writers talk about how they aren’t just rushing toward the keyboard everyday and ideas just aren’t pouring out of them all the time and they aren’t deep fountains of pontifications. I wonder if Stephen King wastes time watching Reality TV while his latest novel sits somewhere in his study? Does Nora Roberts accidentally-on-purpose leave her outline at home in some purse and so, oops, she can’t pound out that new chapter? I guess probably not, but us “regular” people, us writers toiling down here near the soil, it’s not an everyday, turned on thing. I might be inspired about 4 days a month. TRULY. The amount of times that I’ve re-written 2500 words of a chapter would blow your MIND.

Like Dave, I don’t so much hate writing. I don’t hate thinking and plotting and planning and mulling over conversations and actions and settings in my mind. Actually what I hate is not writing. When I don’t have ideas, or I don’t feel like it, or I read the first 2500 words and go, ‘woof’, and close the page and watch another episode of Criminal Minds. Readers of this blog know that I regularly question whether I should call myself a writer. Anyone can put words on a page. At least that’s my opinion.

His second point hits me so strongly. Earlier today I was shaming myself. I keep thinking about that book I was going to write this year that I haven’t managed to get past Chapter 1, on. For some reason, calling it a book was so intimidating and daunting. It was like every word was sealing its fate and every sentence or paragraph or chapter was going to cement my chances of getting published. Even if I decided to publish myself, it’s still so much pressure to open up and tell people, “uhhh, so I wrote this book and uh…. you could, you know, buy it. Or whatever.” OH My. God. Would never happen. I’d be the worst self promoter ever!

As well, I’m so lately struggling with motivation and ideas. When am I NOT struggling with motivation and ideas? Seriously. Anyway, I said all that, not to say that I always feel better to see another writer struggling to actually write. I actually don’t feel alone and I feel a bit of a kinship and I don’t feel like a freak. The blogs and twitter are just full of people #writing. So much writing! 800 words! Woo! Rewrote chapter 7, alright! Got my book sold! Yay!

Me? I’m avoiding Chapters 51 and 17.

By the way, Same Time Next Week came calling last weekend. I rewrote several chapters, lopped off the diseased end and am starting forward from a new spot, without resolving all of my conflict. I think. Errr. I’m actually waiting on a friend to read the latest revisions and give me some notes back before I start up again.  In the meantime, I have more to add to the saga that is All I Wanna Do.

Looks at Chapter 51. Again. I swear I am not going to close it.

Since I was having such a hard time with the last chapter of AIWD, I was longing for something new and different to write, to get me out of the funk. Something easy, or something that came to me easier, instead of struggling over every word and trying to make them string together and make perfect sense. And then….

Same Time Next Week… the bane of my existence… my unfinished 2009 NaNoWriMo… the story that was not going to be finished… started talking to me. It started telling me where I could back the story up to and where I could lop off the diseased portion and where I could take the story from the new jumping off point. I’ve been rearranging the last two days and tonight actually added new words. And got to a point tonight that makes me excited to jump in tomorrow. DRAMZ, ya’ll!

Ugh. So excited. And so happy that ideas are flowing, and that I’m not struggling. I just needed to focus on something different, and this story is much looser with language and sexuality so I can uh… let some things flow. LOL. I guess I just need the release and every once in while I need to pull myself out of AIWD and do something else. Since I can’t quite get started on that Criminal Minds fanfic. HA!

But seriously, it’s still rolling around in my brain. *smacks self* Stop it!

My only issue is how to post the new version at the archive because I already have great feedback on what’s there and some of that gets replaced. I’m hoping it will be alright to close the old version and re-upload the same story but a Redux version. So many things are moved around and added that it’d be hard to go in and edit the old chapters. And then the feedback wouldn’t make any sense.

But I think I want to finish it, before I even start to thinking about that…..but it’s nice to think about.

It is month end, which means another update to my Get Your Words Out tally. Last month was a banner month for writing, and this month I did even better. I’ve been on a few “missions” the last couple of months, which is generating a lot of words. This makes me happy.

My total for the month of June, through about 5pm today, is 40,001 words. WOW! I hit about 35K words last month, which was my biggest month so far. Half of that is some thought and pontificating about changing my life and sharing pieces of myself over at the Diary.  The other half, I am happy to say, are additions to my story All I Wanna Do! I managed to get 2 chapters in last month, which is great! Got to keep it goin’!

My grand total for the year now is 203,927. That means I have fewer than 100K words until I hit my 300,000 mark. Uhm, seriously? I’m totally gonna make that. I have at LEAST 50,000 words left of AIWD, if not more. Plus NaNo is coming up in October- not sure if I am doing it yet, and a friend gave me an idea for something new that’s niggling at me. I’ve been laughing off the idea but damn if it’s not writing itself in my head!

Maybe in July. Maybe.

In all, I’m pleased with the progress! To think I was worried…………

Anyway, my numbers this month turned out pretty well– 39,400 words for the month. Total of 163,926. I am officially OVER halfway to my 300,000 goal. Amazing. Now for sure if I do NaNo this year that will put me over 300K, but I’m not sure I’m doing NaNo. I guess we will see once October comes and we’ll see if I have any ideas.

Til then, onward! I’m still ‘just writing’ and trying to plow through my storyline. Pen in hand,

it’s a loooonnnggg weekend, and coming up on the end of the month, which means a  GYWO word count, yay! I actually got back to some writing this month, which feels good. Getting away from needing a pat on the back for every little step and just… writing (even though I did send a very rough draft to a friend for reading because I am special like that. And she was bored. Sue me), so I’ll be adding more to that story before I go back and edit words out. I wrote them so I am counting them!

I also finished A Reliable Wife this morning. Erm. Interesting. It took me so long to finish this book I don’t even know if I can review it but I will try and post it up here. I might have bought a couple of books today…… okay I did buy a couple of books today. They seem to be oldies but goodies but I flipped through them at Target and they looked interesting. I got The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath and Go Ask Alice, author anonymous.

Looking forward to reading them both!

The archive that I use to host my stories (and a lot of archives use) is efiction. It makes it easier to track and post chapter stories and even categorize your works. There’s a limit to how many characters you can post in one chapter. On mine I think it’s like… 50,000 characters or something like that. Elsewhere, the limit is lower, which translates to about 10,000 words, give or take.

Now, to some 10,000 words is an entire story. For me, for a serial story, it’s a mere chapter. I know, I write a lot. I’m wordy. It’s a blessing and a curse. I’ve found myself, over the course of telling this tale, tailoring my words to the word limit instead of letting the story tell itself. This amounts to undue pressure and stress and breaking the story up into chunks that don’t really seem to gel, if you read it all at once. It comes through like vignettes and not a complete story, something I may or may not fix once I finish it.

So my new approach is to just write. Not try to figure out what is going to happen chapter by chapter. I’m just writing. I’ll split it up into chunks later, edit so that they string together nicely, but I’m just going to write, write, write until it’s done.  There is the small matter of reviews (feedback) that come with posting a new chapter. They are quite encouraging and it’s nice to know I’m being read. I’m not sure how I’ll make it without them but I’ll find a way, I’m sure. Maybe once I get stuck on a certain part I will start posting chapters, much like I did with Same Time Next Week, where I didn’t start posting chapters until week 3 of NaNoWriMo.  Who knows??? I just know I’m going to try not to stress about it, and just write for the enjoyment of writing.

I so miss that, from the early days, rushing home to open Word and pound out a few thousand words.  Fan fiction used to be my practice. Writing used to be fun.  Time to get back to that, pull my head out of my…behind…. and write.

I’m also remembering that I had set a goal this year to write something new, some shorter stories. I’ve written two, I think– The Storm And Try to Say No (which needs to be added to my archive, I see). More, more, more I say!

Feeling renewed and inspired,

I wish I could capture some of this momentum to fix and finish Same Time Next Week. *looks at it* *looks away* *sighs*

Baby steps.

Coming up on AIWD are a few chapters I’ve been thinking about for a long time but I really have no plans as far as how to execute them. I don’t want to put a lot of time and space between updates though. Hopefully tomorrow night I can sit down with my outline and put some ideas together.

Taking the rest of the night off!