That “OMG! THIS!!!” Moment

First of all, thanks to Skinny Black Girl for posting the link that is responsible for today’s post, because I read it and thought… “OMG! THAT!”

Except this post isn’t about exercise, because we all know I’m not doing any of that. My whole…. what’s a better word for plan without saying plan? I don’t know. This year, we’ll say, is about DOING.  I’m reading through my blog posts via my Google Reader today and I come upon today’s post at Skinny Black Girl. She referenced an article in Harvard Business Review entitled “Your Problem Isn’t Motivation.”

He could not be speaking more truth if he was living inside my head. Read the article in its entirety here, but let’s take a look at the scoop (edits are mine):

Each attempt to “motivate”… will only increase … stress and guilt as it widens the gap between … motivation and his follow-through. We have a misconception that if we only cared enough about something, we would do something about it. But that’s not true.

Motivation is in the mind; follow-through is in the practice. Motivation is conceptual; follow-through is practical. In fact, the solution to a motivation problem is the exact opposite of the solution to a follow through problem. The mind is essential to motivation. But with follow through, it’s the mind that gets in the way.

Here’s the key: if you want to follow through on something, stop thinking.

Shut down the conversation that goes on in your head before it starts. Don’t take the bait. Stop arguing with yourself.

Make a very specific decision about something you want to do and don’t question it. By very specific, I mean things like: I will work out  write  tomorrow tonight … or I will only point out the things my employee does right or I will say at least one thing in the next meeting.

Then, when your mind starts to argue with you — and I guarantee it will — ignore it. You’re smarter than your mind. You can see right through it.

I said something to a twiend yesterday–he was congratulating himself on awesome willpower to stop eating out and drinking alcohol. I reminded him that he was successful because he was strong and determined to stick to his decision to cut those things out, not because of some magical force called Will Power. In my humble opinion, will power does not exist. It’s the name we give to the ability to make a decision and stick to it, no matter what.

When doing becomes rote and usual and automatic, we stop thinking about it. We stop trying to motivate ourselves, push ourselves, guilt ourselves into accomplishing our goals. In a short time, we realize that we don’t have to talk so much about what we’re going to do. We just do. 

I realize I’m harping on this point a lot, and that’s because it is huge for me and I think it might be huge for other people at this point in life, where writing isn’t a full time job and we don’t make any money and we don’t really have an audience or a platform or even a project. Writing can be a choice for us, so we must actually choose it. This is the point where we who work outside the home in full time permanent positions sit at our desks and plan and dream and attempt to motive. Nay, even bribe ourselves. “I’ll write for two hours and then I watch X TV show or read X book.” Except that by the time you get home, you’ve been beat with the tired stick and the only thing that sounds good is the the leather of the couch underneath your behind.

What if we stopped thinking and stopped talking and stopped bargaining– in essence trying to motivate ourselves– and just instilled some follow through?

What if we just did it? 

Something to think about, hm?

So yesterday I DID some things. I have a novel that’s been rattling around in my head for over a year and this year I have determined that it will be written. It might suck. It might not suck. Whichever thing happens, it will be written. I started this project many months ago, became frustrated with it and dumped it. I’ve picked it back up again and giving it another go.

Yesterday I found a wonderful character survey HERE. It’s pretty much an in depth study of your character, his or her personality, past, motivations, fears, etc. You fill in all your info, press submit and PRESTO. You get a PDF of a character profile  to save in your (my) project folder. It took me about a half hour or so to do just ONE character last night, in addition to busting out my journal to write out the basics about each of them.

I want to know my characters forward and backward. Even if I don’t use all of the information I know about them, what I know helps form their personality and that personality comes out in the book. Asking myself questions like ‘where was she born, where did she go to school, what’s her personal style, what does she drive, what’s her relationship with her parents/siblings,’ etc helps me create a more well rounded character.

I did this for one character last night. I have five more to go. Feb 1 begins some serious writing.

Sunday Snip- A Few More Points

Getting back into this groove! I wrote two stories for our annual Secret Santa Story Exchange at the fiction archive. One was a gift, the other was a fill in for a writer who could not complete her story. I spent about three weeks on my gift story and liked it a lot by the time I posted it. I spent about five hours writing the fill in and frankly, liked it a ton more. No idea what that means, but interesting turnabout of events. It also means that I can no longer say that I can’t write ‘off the cuff’. If I have an idea, clearly I can.

Today’s snip is from the second story I wrote entitled A Few More Points. Read the story in its entirety here or here. Enjoy!

If she wasn’t drunk, she wouldn’t have done this. Thank goodness she was drunk

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So these Anti Resolutions I’ve set…

It’s Wednesday. I am blogging. I did not announce a plan to blog. I opened WordPress and started writing.

This is how my antiresolutions are going to have to go. And you know? It’s hard!

I think it’s second nature to announce what we’re planning to do. And to plan! Failing to plan is planning to fail, is how that saying goes. Though, I think planning and then not executing said plan has a lot to do with failure as well. When you eliminate the planning and the announcement of the planning, there’s nothing left but to DO.

It was my….plan….to read a lot in January and take a break on the writing, particularly because life is pretty slow and droll for me during this month. I’ve read 3 books so far (really) and am on #4. I’ve been picking books that seem easy to get through, around 300 pages. Reading for the sheer enjoyment of it.

Sunday, I picked up Between Friends, a novel by a writer that I follow on twitter DL Sparks. This is her third novel, and as usual with her, I can’t stop reading once I start.

Then I read a mystery/detective type novel- Blindsighted by Karen Slaughter. This story line was… weird. Intriguing, but weird! I watch Criminal Minds and Discovery ID though so I’m used to weird. Couldn’t have been too bad… I’ve started on the 2nd book in the series!

Yesterday I read Crash Into You, a debut novel by one of my writing inspirations, Roni Loren.  This is a steamy erotic romance about two people who were lovers in a past life, reconnecting in a uhmmmmm very sizzling way. You’ll have to read the book to find out what I mean, but Crash Into You is a well written, entertaining debut. Very proud of Roni.

I was talking to a friend last night about these writer people I know releasing books. This time last year I would have been so jealous I couldn’t see straight. This year,  I’m not. I mean, I’d love for it to happen to me, but I’ve discovered that the only thing standing between me and a completed novel is……..me. So once I get out of my own way, it’ll happen to me, too.

I wish I could report on the writing, but I haven’t done any. And according to my mantra for this year, I’m not going to plan to do it either. I’ll let you know when I’ve done some and how it went.

See? HARD!

My Anti-Resolutions: The Search for Life After Planning

Well, here we are again, BlogPeople. Clean slate, new year, fresh start and all that. I’ve already read so many posts about Writing Goals for the year and pushing yourself further and doing more while doing less while standing on your head and don’t forget to feed the fish!

Every year, we use this fresh, blemish free calendar to symbolically start over. Refresh. Reboot. And while I recognize the impact and significance of such, that process has to actually work for you, otherwise it’s just a waste of time. I mean, let’s face it folks– I’m addicted to planning.

Oh, I have plans and goals. Long term and short term. I have writing schedules and big dreams and lists of things I should be thinking about doing during any particular free moment of the day. I am so good at planning that I don’t have any time to EXECUTE SAID PLAN.

Yeah……..about those plans? You’ve got to actually work at them, in order for them to be meaningful, otherwise it’s like being unemployed and planning on being a millionaire. Doesn’t work.

Back when I was a workerbee for an audio visual company, we would watch these Stanford Business training videos called The Search for Life After Planning– how to move yourself from having goals to celebrating achievements. These involve setting goals and implementing strategies to make them happen- say what you’re going to do and then what steps you’re going to take to do accomplish them.

While I’ve done that in the past and it has been an underwhelming experience, I still believe in Life After Planning. What do you do after you write down this list of things you want to do? For me, it’s more about what I’m not going to do.

I can justify anything. I can make an excuse out of nothing. I can plan all day to come home and write for two hours and then get home and find an arbitrary reason not to write. This year, I’m combatting that with talking about things I’m not going to do. For example:

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2011- What I Did With My Year

Year end is fast approaching and I’m sure all of my blog friends are busily preparing their final posts and goals for 2012, gearing up to pounce on the New Year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do with my year, next year. I don’t know that I want to “set goals” per se… because having a list of things to do isn’t very motivating to me. Rather, I do things that inspire and energize and propel me towards better writing and better writing habits. When I look back on what I’ve accomplished this year, I certainly wouldn’t have written myself a list of to-do’s this long:

- Finished up a long serial fiction story that I started in January 2009 as a hundred word prompt from Writer’s Digest. It continues to be my “baby”.
- Read 50+ books. I mentioned this before but I’m very proud of achieving that goal! Next year I’m increasing my goal to 60- join me!
- Wrote 120K + words. Yep. That’s a lotta typing.
- Wrote 8 short stories.
-  Four of those 8 were original fiction!
- Started two books- one creative non fiction, one fiction novel. Both are stalled at the moment.
- Joined Atlanta Writer’s Club and Georgia Writer’s Association
- Got knocked down. Got back up again.
- Joined/participated in DIYMFA
- Met four authors: Susan Rebecca White, Kathryn Stockett, Tayari Jones, and Bernice McFadden
- Put my writing on display by joining Six Sentence Sunday
- Featured at Wellness & Writing Connections Newsletter, Storyfix.com and Indie Ink.org
- Led three fiction writing challenges at the Fiction Archive

While I’m in the middle of something, I’m slowly simmering and worrying that I’m not doing enough or writing enough or reading enough or learning enough. I’m not available enough for beginning writers and I’m not paying enough attention to those I can learn from…. but when I step back and take a look at the big picture… it’s a very pretty painting of something I’m very proud of.
Here’s to a busier and better 2012, in which I will PERSIST.

 

30 Days of Books- Willful Disobedience

I’m skipping today’s question– favorite book you own because seriously? I own a lot of books and I love them ALLLLLL. Picking a favorite isn’t happening.

Instead I will yammer about writing and reading. How’s that?

Last week during my luxurious Thanksgiving break, I read three books, which put me a couple of books ahead in the Goodreads Challenge I set for myself. I’m hoping I’ll finish the year over goal, which would be great. I read two books by Hillary Jordan- When She Woke and Mudbound. Both were excellent. I don’t remember the third book… must not have been remarkable. ;)

I am still plugging away on my gift for the Story Exchange. I am on idea #4 now. I mean, at least the ideas keep coming? I’m hoping I have something I can write to the end. Or if it does, that another idea comes to me because… errr. Yeah. It’s due soon!

I think that’s about it from this front. The year is winding down and I’m already thinking about what goals I want to achieve next year.

How about you? Is 2012 knocking on your door already?

Writing Wednesday- Letters I’ll Never Send [Prompt]

It’s Wednesday, and instead of yammering about how I haven’t written much lately and how much of a slacker I feel about that, I thought I would actually, you know… write. I found this meme called Letters I’ll Never Send and one of the topics is to write to The One(s) That Got Away…

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DIYMFA: Collecting Characters

Characters  are my favorite topics to talk about, because I love a character I can sink my teeth into. A well-rounded character will have an entire history his or her own and I will know them like the back of my hand, to the point where I can predict what s/he will say or do in a certain situation.

This week we’re talking about our characters and how we collect them. Do we have a grouping of people hanging out in our heads or on paper waiting to be written? Are they stolen from real life and pieced together?

My writing style is usually plot driven, mostly because I have written so much fan fiction where the main character is always the same person, different situation. Add original characters, mix, and pour into a glass. My original fiction has followed the same path because that is what I’m used to. A “what if” situation or a “ripped from the headlines” story might plant a bug, and then I start to design characters that would/wouldn’t fit and figure out how to make the story interesting.

I collect some of my characters from real life but change so many of the characteristics that I’d be impressed if anyone recognized themselves. I try to “model” characters after a person, either by personality or by appearance. I had a serial story that I wrote for a long, long time and one of the minor characters was modeled after one of our off site managers at work. From time to time, he comes to the office, so sometimes it’s like having that character just a few feet away from me. Really weird feeling, by the way.  There are others that I take first or last names but no other info like the job they have or their family makeup. I combine and build and develop until I have a pretty much ‘fictional’ person and only I know the original inspiration.

I’ve also told my friends when they end up in my stories.., though I always let them know if I am going to use their name or something they’d recognize. One of my friend’s names recently showed up in a story without her knowing and it was quite the surprise. I know I’m not the only person on earth with my (real) name but it is not a “typical” name so it would stand out if someone used it.

The main character in my current WIP was born from the title of an album. I started mulling it over in my mind and a ‘what if’ situation popped up and I started inserting characters.

 

The Sunday Snippet: Trapped By Everything He Is

Haven’t done this for a few weeks, so here’s a snip!

 

This is from All I Wanna Do, a novel length serial about the ultimate fan girl fantasy– meeting, dating, and falling in love with a member of the band… except that it’s not as glamorous as one might imagine.  In this scene, my lovebirds have had their biggest blowout yet and Serena has temporarily moved out, expecting JC to come after her. But he doesn’t and now she’s stuck. This conversation is between her and his brother:

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DIYMFA: Books on Writing, in which I confess…

A brief note before I post: Day three of the 30 Day Writing challenge is up on my Tumblr! If you’re participating by blog or Tumblr please let me know so I can follow!

So, today we are discussing building a library on the craft of writing. And I have a confession to make: I buy writing books all the time but don’t read them. I have several books of writing exercises but don’t really make use of them. It hasn’t been a medium that has been effective for me… it’s that feeling of flipping through a book and realizing it’s in a language you can’t read. In fact, I become overwhelmed and quite stressed out after reading them because I feel like I have no idea how to apply what I’ve just read to something I’m currently writing.  I am much more of a writing blog reader than I am a writing book reader, though I do have a couple of writing books I like:

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