I took some time off of writing during May, which I needed. Desperately.
During that time, I didn’t write or read or obsessively check my writing twitter account. I marked as read most of my google reader “Writers and Writing” blog posts. I don’t think I’ve opened Goodreads all month. And while I ran a challenge at the fiction archive, I didn’t even get an inkling of a new story to write. I read snippets of a few but honestly not a lot keeps my attention as of late. Continue reading
This post by Janet Reid could not have come at a better time. I’m really struggling with the writing thing lately. I have been writing for… I don’t know about two (or is it three?) years straight. If I live in the bubble where I only read my writing, it seems good. Solid. And then I read someone else, or an actual published author and I realize how good I am NOT. It’s depressing.
Janet’s post, which links to a post by Ira Glass, completely describes my feeling right now:
“What nobody tells people who are beginners — and I really wish someone had told this to me . . . is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste.
But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not.
But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.
A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit.
Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this.
And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work.
At least I know I have taste? I don’t know. I’m just tired, you know? It’s been a long hard journey of half a million words to just get to “crappy”. Imagine how many words I have to put in to get to “okay”.
I am tired of feeling like a talentless hack. I am tired of opening up this blog and whining about feeling like a talentless hack. I am tired of reading comments from people who only mean the very best, telling me that a lot of writers feel this way and also I am not a talentless hack. I’m just tired.
I don’t feel it, right now. I need a break. So I’m taking it. I’ll be back in June, I hope.
So, I had a bad night last night. Very, very bad. Like, sitting in bed staring at the laptop, sniffling and sobbing, teary twitter updates bad night. And it was all my project’s fault.
See, here is the thing. I’m a writer. I have finally admitted to myself that I do this thing called writing. And now that I am well aware that I am a writer, I am looking past just “writing”. Now what I want is to AUTHOR.
I want to write a book. Not a book that I finish and smile at and put away. Not a book that is so amateur that I have to self publish because YE GODZ, lady, no one is going to publish that drivel. I want to author a book and then edit the crap out of it and rewrite it and edit the crap out of THAT and send it to 184 agents and have ONE say “yeah I think we can make this work” and have that agent send it to 45 publishing companies and have one of THEM say, “Yeah, we definitely want to publish this” and have my book be available at frikken Barnes & Noble where my mother– who lives on the other side of the country– can go visit a bookstore with her best girlfriend and stand there and stare at it and cry in the middle of the store and be all proud and stuff.
That.
I want that.
But the thing is? I’m not really sure I have that kind of talent. Continue reading
Today at DIYMFA, we are discussing our writing rituals, or those habits we subconciously fall into in order to get in the mood for writing. Rituals remind me of when a dog goes to lay down. They primp and pace, sniff around, then turn three times and flop down in their favorite spot… every time.
It’s not unlike the ritual of a writer, except I don’t do any sniffing around. The reason our rituals or habits are important is because it tells our minds and our muses that it’s time to get down to business. So, let’s chat about our habits and rituals.
What are yours? Share in the comments!
Hello, world! It’s WiP Wednesday (or in my case, writing Wednesday. Or, not writing Wednesday…whichever fits) again!
I don’t have a WiP this week… I promised myself I’d take a break through the end of March and start planning out something new on April 1. I’ve been mulling and thinking over characters and story lines, though, and how I’m going to put things together. I still don’t have a complete story in my head, which is kind of scary because that’s where I sat with Caged Bird for 2 years before I gave up. I’m hoping this new venture turns into something and doesn’t go over like a lead balloon.
I spent last weekend in New York, which was, in words that don’t even begin to describe the experience, AMAZING. I had a blast from the time the plane landed until I arrived at the airport to leave. I had never been to New York before so it was an eye opening experience. I can’t WAIT to go back… already planning my return trip.
Since I spent so much time out and about and sight seeing, I didn’t get much reading time in. I had hoped to unwind with the Nook every night, but the Internet won… had to catch up with my writer friends and everyone else! I’m back, though so I need to get back in the old reading saddle.
Tonight I’m Ultra excited to be meeting author Kathryn Stockett, who wrote The Help. She’s speaking at Savannah College of Art and Design’s Ivy Hall Writer’s Series. I can’t wait!
Well, that’s all I’ve got for this Wip Wednesday. Hope everyone is doing great with their novels and stories!
It’s Wednesday again!
Just quick update on my WIP. I hammered at it some last week and spent a good amount of time pushing the story forward past an important point over the weekend. I sent it to a small group of people to check out and give some feedback and plan to work on it some this week.
I don’t know if it’s the time change or just general fatigue but I’ve been getting home around 5:30 or 6 and I just feel like passing out. Like a lot of writers, it is my “night job” or my hobby. I can’t write all day as I’m at work, so by the time I get home I’ve already had a full day. Then I try to read a little– it gets me in the writing mood, then I settle down to write by 7 or 8pm and I’m already yawning.
This happens at the beginning of the week, and maybe it’s beceause Monday and Tuesday are my hit-the-ground-running days. Wednesday- Friday tends to be less taxing, so I’m not as tired when I get home.
So I said all that to say that I haven’t worked on my WiP since Monday, but I’m not feeling bad about it because I pounded out some words over the weekend. Last week I was at 18,500 or so words. As of right now I am sure I am over 27K. I wanted to keep this story short. I guess I am just incapable of that. Ha!
The other night on twitter, it must have been last weekend, I wrote about 6K words on a Sunday. Not a huge deal for me as I was on a roll and in the meat of the story. Someone responded that it was ‘amazing’. I added the caveat that I won’t likely keep all 6k, but I write them and count them. In editing, I cut a lot back, rewrite a lot, rephrase and prettify. What started at 6k might only end up 4k.
I try to keep myself on a writing schedule– 3-5 days a week, at least 2 hours a night. Most weeks I make it. Some weeks, the words just don’t come and the stories sit until I’m ready to work on them.
It seems like Monday night is always the night when I have to force myself into working. Every Monday, I’m re-reading and editing what I pushed out over the weekend. I’m excited about picking up where I left off and pushing the story further. I can’t wait to get home and get all my “things” out of the way– you know, like eating and laundry and such. Good thing I am single and I have no pets. Companions would have to fend for themselves.
Then I get home and I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. There are a lot of quotes about writing because it’s time to write and not waiting until you feel like writing. “There is no muse,” says Nora Roberts. Well. I don’t know. I’m certainly motivated and inspired. I’m also tired, which makes it hard to think, to form cogent sentences and most importantly type words that I will keep. I typically write all weekend, about 8-10 hours a day. It’s no wonder that I greet Monday with a half open eye.
So, I’m throwing caution to the wind, tonight. I’m taking the night off! I am behind on my 2011 reading goal and I’ve picked up a few good books from NetGalleys lately, so it’s a relaxing night with Word CLOSED for me. And I don’t feel bad about it at all.
Okay, I feel a little bad. But not a lot.
Happy Monday!
It’s 3:29am. I’ve been awake since just a bit after midnight. I was so tired when I got home, I crawled into bed and rolled over just after 10pm. I woke up just a few hours later and I haven’t gone back to sleep. I’m well aware of why.
Normally I would toss open Word, and see if I can insert some prose that, later, I will not be able to decipher. Writing while sleepy is an epidemic. Tonight… well, this morning, my WIP is not at the forefront of my mind.
Three years ago today, at just about this time, my little brother was killed in a car accident. I remember the day vividly, though I try not to remember it. I woke up early that day, for no reason at all. The same as this morning, something poked me awake and I was unable to go back to sleep. Around 5am, the call came from my mother. My baby brother was dead at 22.
Joseph was 11 years younger than I, so that meant there was a lot of hero worship. He loved his Big Sister. And I loved my Baby Brother. I can’t pretend we were terribly close, especially in his latter years, when he had been in a lot of trouble. That didn’t mean that I loved him any less. That didn’t mean that I wasn’t looking out for him.
I went back and forth as to whether or not to post this, because I try to keep the personal off of this blog… but since I’m laying here at 3:30, and I can’t write and I can’t sleep… maybe I just needed to type the words.
:: waive:: I’m checking in, still here. Alive and such. I had such a bang up January that February is seeming like a slack fest. I’m still catching up on my goal of 1000 words /night. I’m at just under 5000, so about 2000 under but I have another chapter of AIWD to get out before month’s end. I know, I know, I said the last chapter was the last, but I had far too many ends to tie up. The next chapter will be the last, for sure. Maybe. Okay, that’s my plan, anyway.
I haven’t been digging into my books like I’d like to, either. In fact after this blog post I am going to spend a few hours reading. I have a few books on my nightstand that I haven’t even cracked open yet! Unheard of!
I have a new project that I’m excited about. I don’t want to talk about it yet but it involved buying a domain and setting up a new site for it. Will be announcing soon and, if things go right, it will become a book! ( *squee* ) I must admit that I have NO IDEA what I am doing. I read a lot of blogs that talk about being published and the do’s and don’ts and… I’m overwhelmed. I guess I just take this one step at a time. I have some collection that needs to happen, first. I need to give the site a once-over before I can officially launch.
Oy, I’m tired already. I’d better sign off and get to reading!
Did write anything today, and didn’t read much. What a slacker! Lol. My word count is not doing too badly and neither is my book count, so I suppose I can afford a day off.
I did actually try to start Ch 61, but it’s not really coming together yet. I can’t force what isn’t there.
I’ve been avoiding the Kitchen House all weekend, because if I start listening to it I will finish the book and I need fodder for traffic tomorrow. And I also need to figure out what I am listening to next. I have a couple of books that I’ve already read, that I could listen to, but I’d rather listen to something new. Well, new as in something I haven’t read or heard.
I tried to get some writing in today. Mostly just cleaned up what I’d already written, adding words here and there. Since I am already ahead for the month (I turned in my 2010 numbers early and decided to count anything I wrote afterward to 2011), I’m not stressing about it but I don’t want to get out of my 1000 words a day practice. I only have about a 4 day buffer and I want to stay ahead.
I’ve been playing with my new toy since yesterday though!
The Nook Color is amazingly wonderful. I’ve been futzing with my books since it booted up, and reading some great stuff. I had been reading books on my iPhone, which didn’t bother me a bit. The bigger screen on the Nook is fantastic, and it’s great being able to add my own eBooks to it as well. Definitely my favorite purchase lately.
So I’m off to read more of David Cullen’s Columbine. It’s a really gripping, near moment-by-moment account of the 1999 massacre in Colorado. More writing tomorrow, hoping I get further than I did today.