I was perusing my blog the other day, looking at old posts from when I first started writing seriously and writing a LOT. I had a lot to say and I wanted to share EVERYTHING about writing. It was also that period of time when I was following a lot of craft blogs and other writers and trying to figure out which way was the right way or the best way to do this writer thing.
Somewhere around finishing Ruby’s (so 2014), I fell off the blogging and sharing wagon. Not sure why……. maybe it was because i was so busy doing stuff that I didn’t have time to talk about the stuff I was doing. Maybe I felt like I’d be pushing myself into people’s faces too much. Maybe I felt like no one cared. In the last year-ish, I haven’t really blogged. I don’t count book reviews as blogs, really. They’re there to prove I read a book so I can continue to get books!
There is also the matter of how I’m not really writing anything. I have several projects that are about 1/4th completed. I look at them and think……eh. I have a project that has a title and a cover (I spent $30 on the stock image for it) but the actual text of the novel I threw away in June because I was so frustrated with it. I have an older version of it in word and when I get my behind together, I’ll pull that out and start crafting it. Again. I did this with Ruby’s actually. Just tore it up and started over.
I’m just…..not really ready for that right now. And I’m trying to figure out what that’s about. While my friend Roni Loren has sold yet another new series (Congrats Roni!), I’m still wandering about the Internet, writing when I feel like it (which is rare) and I have to be kicked in the pants by my Beta to do any writing for the fanfiction archive (speaking of, I did write a lil ditty for the Awesome August challenge called CELEBRITY. It’s here.) It’s not that I’m jealous. I’m SO happy for my writing pals.
I think I can’t do it. I don’t commit to writing because I don’t know that I can finish it. “Just write, you can edit later” is advice I give everyone but never take. I don’t want to write some crap I have to fix or delete later. I want to write something clear and concise and intriguing and beautiful, that may need fleshing out and primping, but doesn’t need to be completely torn down in another session. Right now…….I’m just writing crappily.
And reading crappily. Is crappily even a word? Is now. My annual reading slump is epic, this year. Books I would have lost my mind over in January are just languishing in TangyMae the Kindle. I still buy new books. I look at them. I think, oooh that looks good. And then don’t read them. Deplorable.
So. I’m really aiming to get my act together. I don’t have a plan yet. When I have a plan, you won’t know since I don’t like to announce things, lest they go south and I have to un-announce them. I talk about what I have done and not what I am going to do.
It is my hope that the next time you hear from me, I will have done something.