Comments on: FlirtFest Entry: Critique_This_WIP http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/ ...wouldn't that be sweet? Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:38:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: MissM http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/comment-page-1/#comment-359 MissM Mon, 17 May 2010 15:44:10 +0000 http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/?p=807#comment-359 Mmmmm. Pie. Thank you! Mmmmm. Pie. Thank you!

]]> By: MissM http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/comment-page-1/#comment-358 MissM Mon, 17 May 2010 15:42:49 +0000 http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/?p=807#comment-358 LOL! Thank youuuu! LOL! Thank youuuu!

]]> By: MissM http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/comment-page-1/#comment-357 MissM Mon, 17 May 2010 15:42:34 +0000 http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/?p=807#comment-357 My sentiments exactly! Ah, if only life were really like that! Thank you! My sentiments exactly! Ah, if only life were really like that! Thank you!

]]> By: MissM http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/comment-page-1/#comment-356 MissM Mon, 17 May 2010 15:42:08 +0000 http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/?p=807#comment-356 Thanks! I guess I will have to look at that line... it's in 3rd person from her perspective... I am not sure how to convey the elation at finally getting a kiss better. HMMM. Thanks for that! And for the compliment! It was fun! Thanks! I guess I will have to look at that line… it’s in 3rd person from her perspective… I am not sure how to convey the elation at finally getting a kiss better. HMMM. Thanks for that! And for the compliment! It was fun!

]]> By: Dawn Embers http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/comment-page-1/#comment-355 Dawn Embers Mon, 17 May 2010 15:32:08 +0000 http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/?p=807#comment-355 Nice entry. I like the beginning in particular. It does a good job setting up the scene and bringing the reader into the moments. I got a little thrown off during the kiss with one paragraph because it felt half like it was in her thought and half not by the word choices. Things like the "warm and sweet" line felt more from her but then the "he was kissing her" wasn't. I don't know. That's just something that stalled me personally. The characters are well developed and she in particular seems fun. Great entry in yesterdays blogfest. Nice entry. I like the beginning in particular. It does a good job setting up the scene and bringing the reader into the moments. I got a little thrown off during the kiss with one paragraph because it felt half like it was in her thought and half not by the word choices. Things like the “warm and sweet” line felt more from her but then the “he was kissing her” wasn’t. I don’t know. That’s just something that stalled me personally. The characters are well developed and she in particular seems fun.

Great entry in yesterdays blogfest.

]]> By: Tina Lynn http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/comment-page-1/#comment-354 Tina Lynn Mon, 17 May 2010 12:37:28 +0000 http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/?p=807#comment-354 Heck no, I wouldn't be moving my hand after that kiss. No freaking way:) Thanks for going no holds barred. Sometimes a girl just needs that release. Heck no, I wouldn’t be moving my hand after that kiss. No freaking way:) Thanks for going no holds barred. Sometimes a girl just needs that release.

]]> By: Donna Hole http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/comment-page-1/#comment-353 Donna Hole Mon, 17 May 2010 04:20:32 +0000 http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/?p=807#comment-353 Such restraint; not to climb in his lap. The flirty and buildup to this was great. I could so see the two of them sitting at that table, and I was so in their heads, in the mood. Excellent flirt scene. ......dhole Such restraint; not to climb in his lap. The flirty and buildup to this was great. I could so see the two of them sitting at that table, and I was so in their heads, in the mood.

Excellent flirt scene.

……dhole

]]> By: MissM http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/comment-page-1/#comment-352 MissM Mon, 17 May 2010 00:54:54 +0000 http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/?p=807#comment-352 Ha, thank you! I rather enjoyed writing from a male's point of view in some of this story. Ha, thank you! I rather enjoyed writing from a male’s point of view in some of this story.

]]> By: MissM http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/comment-page-1/#comment-351 MissM Mon, 17 May 2010 00:54:14 +0000 http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/?p=807#comment-351 I know... never happens to me either... HMPH. I know… never happens to me either… HMPH.

]]> By: Bryan Sabol http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/2010/writers-write/flirtfest-entry-critique_this_wip/comment-page-1/#comment-350 Bryan Sabol Mon, 17 May 2010 00:30:16 +0000 http://www.thesweetescape.net/blog/?p=807#comment-350 This was great -- perfect balance of setting and dialog. Just loved the tension and Jackson's "prayer" at the end. Brilliant. This was great — perfect balance of setting and dialog. Just loved the tension and Jackson’s “prayer” at the end.

Brilliant.

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